THE SMS TITANIC

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Hm.

So... even though I love Anna, sometimes I also develop side-crushes on other people, too. It's probably a bad idea to go out with someone while Anna's the only thing on my mind, but I can't really help it. Plus it's not like anyone would want to go out with me anyway. But yeah.

It's just... it really sucks being alone like this, especially when I'm constantly forced to watch/listen to other couples' happiness, and sometimes I wish I could have, like, a temporary girlfriend. Just until Anna loves me. But then I quickly realize that that would be really cruel to the other girl. I mean, I know there's a such thing as friends with benefits, but that's not really what I'm talking aboot. I don't really care all that much aboot sex (surprise!), I just... wish I had someone to do little romantic things with, like cuddling or just talking or whatever.

I dunno. Whatever. I guess my patience will pay off? Maybe? Except I'm really, really impatient. So yeah.

EDIT: Unrelated, I just realized that maybe Anna SHOULDN'T know aboot this, lest she have it shut down like the Facebook group. Hm. :s

meh

Nothing really new's going on, but I wanted to make a post anyway.

Apparently Anna had a cold or something, but as far as I know she's okay now.

STOP BEING EMO, NICK

Yeah, yeah. I know. Half the time when I'm negative I seem emo, and the other half when I'm positive I come off as creepy and the bad kind of insane. Welp, prepare for the latter.

Recently I've been feelin' pretty good. It may have something to do with me taking an interest in Catholicism the other day. Looked up incorruptibility (pretty cool) and infallibility of the church, and other cool Catholic stuff like that. Of course, as far as I know I'm Protestant, but that doesn't stop me from using Catholic principles that make sense to me, does it?

Well anyway, after doing this, I've felt less emo and stuff. More confident, even. Not in the bad vain way, though. But yeah. I also kinda get this vibe that maybe God's rewarding me for being extra religious lately by aiding me in my quest for Anna's love or something. I dunno. Maybe. But yeah!

Also, happy birthday Anna! (She's 17 today.) <3

V-Day and a B-day

Tomorrow is Valentine's Day... yet another time I should be spending by pampering Anna, but of course life's cheated me out of that, hasn't it? Plus, her birthday is on the 18th... She's gonna be 17. Missing her birthday is even worse than missing V-Day... Sigh...

I know, I know. I'm trying to stay optimistic and all, but still... it really sucks having to miss all these special events. ;_;

In unrelated news, I really really wanna have a baby. But that's nothing new.

I literally lived the lyrics to 'Blue Christmas'

Indeed, it was a blue, blue Christmas without her. I couldn't stop myself from thinking... you're supposed to hang out with loved ones for Christmas, right? So many people take it for granted, thinking "oh hey, that's easy, loved ones are the one thing you always have". But no. Not so easy for some.

Anna is the one thing I really, truly need (not that I'm calling her a thing) but like... I don't have her. It shouldn't be this hard, ya know? If only I could just, like, cuddle with her, and just talk or something simple like that it would be the perfect Christmas in my eyes. But no. I can't even get that much. :(

I guess I'm okay now though. I'ma keep on truckin'. Perseverance! I don't care if it sounds creepy or not, I know I'll get her someday.

Phil comments on Anna's LJ!

Okay, so yeah, it was me. I completely forgot that account existed until I read the log of when we started doing it. I was gonna do another comment being like, "Is it Nick? Or am I really your cartoon crush, giving you sound advice? OooOoooOOOooo!" but apparently she blocked all the BS accounts. So yeah.

But seriously, Anna, Phil speaks the truth. I love you. Why won't you at least give me a chance? And I mean damn, the fact that we worked on that project together should give you a hint. We used to be such good friends... always doing fun little projects like that together. What happened to those days, huh?

As a side note, does Anna actually read this blog? Because she probably should. I need a way to communicate things to her.